Quote Me On That

I had an idea for a blog, and here it is. Unusually, it relies on other people.

Ten years ago, any reference consulted would come up with the same dozen quotes about tea. Ignoring Eleanor Roosevelt,  as she explicitly mentions bagged tea, or actually worse, is all about the bag, you get a bit of Samuel Johnson, CS Lewis, maybe some Lu Yu, maybe some Jerome K. Jerome for the adventurous.

Over the last few years, I’ve gone out of my way to actually invent some quotes. Many of them were put in boxes using a tool that is sadly a victim of the recent malware attack on Tea Trade, the site that hosts this blog, although they live on over at Pinterest.

Now, some of mine are a little strong for general consumption and convey some of my own beliefs quite firmly – such as:

“A paper bag, a staple and a piece of string are a much a part of a great tea experience as ritual disembowelment is part of a successful figure skating routine”

Some are quite pithy:

“You have one teahole and two ears. The more tea you drink, the more you will listen and the smarter you will become.”

And one gets a lot of attention:

“It is tea time right now, somewhere. Or anywhere.”

Anyway, my idea was to just ask people on Facebook and Twitter what their favourite tea quotes are, to see if the old staples came up. To make it interesting, I suggested people could also just quote themselves.

Straight away, one author came up. Three times in the first four quotes. The author? Not Lu Yu. Not Robert Fortune. Not even me. But the incomparable, unbeatable genius of the late, lamented Douglas Adams.

Tea Blogger Nicole Martin threw this one at me:

He had found a Nutri-Matic machine which had provided him with a plastic cup filled with a liquid that was almost, but not quite, entirely unlike tea. The way it functioned was very interesting. When the Drink button was pressed it made an instant but highly detailed examination of the subject’s taste buds, a spectroscopic examination of the subject’s metabolism and then sent tiny experimental signals down the neural pathways to the taste centers of the subject’s brain to see what was likely to go down well. However, no one knew quite why it did this because it invariably delivered a cupful of liquid that was almost, but not quite, entirely unlike tea.

And my Facebook friend and Jim’s Caravan lover David Willanski added:

“No,” Arthur said, “look, it’s very, very simple…. All I want… is a cup of tea. You are going to make one for me. Now keep quiet and listen.”

And he sat. He told the Nutro-Matic about India, he told it about China, he told it about Ceylon. He told it about broad leaves drying in the sun. He told it about silver teapots. He told it about summer afternoons on the lawn. He told it about putting the milk in before the tea so it wouldn’t get scalded. He even told it (briefly) about the East India Trading Company.

“So that’s it, is it?” said the Nutro-Matic when he had finished.

“Yes,” said Arthur. “That is what I want.”

“You want the taste of dried leaves boiled in water?”

“Er, yes. With milk.”

“Squirted out of a cow?”

“Well in a manner of speaking, I suppose…”

“I’m going to need some help with this one.”

And to top it off, Nicole chimed back in with:

“A cup of tea would restore my normality.”

In amongst the Adams-fest, Blogger Nami Rosen threw in one of the classics:

“You can never get a cup of tea large enough or a book long enough to suit me.” C.S. Lewis

And then there were a few originals. Annelise Pitt of Thistledown Cozies went with:

“I like my men like I like my tea – hot and loose.”

And Julia Arrasmith-Matson of Bingley’s Teas skipped the chance to throw a Jane Austen quote in and went with one of her own, the thought provoking

“Tea needs nothing from me”

Over on Twitter, a traditional Chinese thread was happening. Tea Blogger Eleonora Byron added:

“Better to be deprived of food for three days, than tea for one.” (Ancient Chinese proverb)

Not to be out-Chinesed, Julie Mitchell offered:

 “Tea is the Elixir of Life.” (Lao Tzu)

And then added:

“All you need is tea and warm socks.” (not sure who said that one)

I hadn’t heard it or had any idea who said it, and found out that it’s actually the name of a blog set up as, well, let’s say a fan site, as opposed to a bit of a shrill, for a large tea company.

In other words, someone doing what I’ve tried to do at times, leverage tea sales off an original quote.

I was contacted by a chap called Jace Lion Repshire. His original contribution, a nice little pun is really good:

“Steep With One Eye Open”

Well, I’m almost there, but I’m going to finish with quotes from three ladies who add a lot to my tea drinking experience: Firstly, let’s go with Verna L. Hamilton. A blogger and author, Verna pours out tea-infused motivational quotes at a frenetic rate. The way she writes – and I’ve heard her speak live – always make me feel she has no concept of “low key”. When reading a quote by Verna, it’s best to find a mirror and shout it at yourself for the full effect. And the quotes come daily, although it sometimes feels like hourly.

Here’s the one I’ve gone with:

“Good morning good #tea people! Devoting energy/effort to a fruitless pursuit is like drinking tea out of a cracked cup. Do better. #DrinkTea”

In order to calm down from that experience, it’s best to turn to artist and tea poet Jo Powell-Johnson. Jo’s site Scandalous Tea Blog is also hosted on Tea Trade, and the result is that thousands of images have been lost, many showing her wonderful jewellery and offering inspiring poetry. Luckily, I wrote one down a while back:

“Weathering the storm, wrapped in the warmth of the brew, blanketed by leaves”

This has been quite an interesting blog to curate and collect, rather than write. Over the course of it I have drunk two teas from The Devotea : an Iced Fleurs de Provence and a hot Apple & Cranberry White Tea Concoction. The latter was developed by the inestimable Lady Devotea herself, and so as I reach the end of the cup, I’ll leave it to a quote by her to finish us off:

“The very making of a cuppa is cathartic, and the drinking of it can transport us to tea fields distant” (Anne Drury-Godden/Lady Devotea)

So, I’ll see you all soon in tea fields distant.