Category: Satire
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Smashing The Avocado Hypothesis
Australia has gone nuts. We’ve had a tremendous furore, and it’s not been over poverty or abuse or the quest for world peace. No, the bone of contention is that most lacklustre of berries*; the avocado, a fruit so bad most people think it’s a vegetable. Apart from it’s previously brilliant name of “alligator pear”,…
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We Built A Wall
Behold, a wall of tea! An impenetrable fortress of tea. Twenty-one teas, in smart new boxes, aiming to stop reprobates such as coffee taking up space in the world’s drinking vessels. This is the culmination of many months’ work, when we decided that, after seven years, our trusty Mylar packets were no longer what we wanted…
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Eternal Bag-Whine of the Clueless Mind
You may not know this, but a group of the world’s best tea bloggers have a secret form of communication. It’s quite like the secret Masonic handshake, except it involves Facebook messenger. Via this method, the hard-bitten core of tea bloggers have conversations that have the potential to shake the tea world to the very core.…
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Ignore Me For The Right Reasons
As a blogger, I get contacted a lot by tea vendors. “Please review our tea” they say. “We’ll send you some, and you can write lovely things about it”. This is often a very bad idea. If you’re a tea vendor, there are some really good reasons why you shouldn’t do it. However, I am…
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Ask Lord Devotea (The Second Coming)
I have, at times, consented to share my wisdom with the world. This is one of those times. Young Geoffrey, of Portland, USA, writes: Dear Lord Devotea, why do people buy and consume terrible tea? In bags? What’s wrong with them? Dear Geoffrey Full marks for realising straight away is the big problem here is…
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Lazy Sunday Afternoons
Having a delightful afternoon tea with friends is of course, the ultimate way of enjoying a Sunday. Of course, some people might say “But Lord Devotea, my idea of enjoying a Sunday is on a motorbike driving like an idiot on dirt roads / attending some sports / visiting a leper colony / being chained…
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Brexit. Tea. Envy. Loss. Coffee. Really.
My preferred title for this blog post was just too long, so let’s just enjoy it here: Brexit, Elections, The Politics of Loss and the Implications in the Marketing War between Tea and Coffee. DISCLAIMER: many of you are used to my habit of (a) adding a little tea to make a long-winded rant about something…
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Captain and Capability
Today, I break my self imposed rule against not reviewing teas that are available in markets where they compete with our own, using Douglas Adam’s escape clause in the Hitchhiker’s Guide series, where writers for the Guide may not, under any circumstances, offer a review that is against editorial policy “unless they really, really want…