The Last Place on Earth…

Las Vegas.

Why would I want to go there?

Its very name conjures up images: not always good ones. Tea-Va Las Vegas!

Mostly of course, it’s murders. I watched at least the first six seasons of CSI and I learned that in Las Vegas, a bunch of people get murdered every day and it takes 45 minutes (including commercials) to figure out who did it.

Figuring out who did it is all very good, but if I’m fatally mauled by an ocelot after being locked in wardrobe with one or wind up drowned in a vat of Gyokuru, the fact that the culprit will be apprehended thanks to the work of a diligent forensic expert is scant comfort, let me tell you.

And then of course, there’s all that vice – the drugs, the prostitution, the mob etc.

One thing we know from TV and movies is that all that vice is wrapped up with coffee. Every addled junkie, big-hearted prostitute or psychotic mob boss always finds time to down a coffee between the drugs. sex and violence.

So, it’s just as well I plan to hang with the tea crowd in Vegas.

This is because Lady Devotea and I will be attending the World Tea Expo in Las Vegas this year.

YES! It’s true. I”ll be part of a panel on Day 3! And plan to lurk about in an unashamedly teaist fashion for the whole thing.

So, beat the rush as the whole of the USA* fights their way to Las Vegas to be there for that one shining moment when all the people in town are asking, not for drugs, drink, gambling, illicit sex or the execution of a business rival, but to shake my hand and share a cuppa.

Unless I’m murdered first, of course.

 

*Well, the people who matter, anyway.

11 thoughts on “The Last Place on Earth…

  1. I have already begun mapping my driving routes to ensure that I don’t miss my opportunity to shake hands and share tea! You and Geoff…I can barely wait!

  2. If the authorities ask me what happened to you, my exact response will be, “I only just met him today.”

    Truth, freedom, and all that.

    But seriously…look forward to seeing you there.

    Sans ocelot.

  3. I won’t be there, so @peter and I shall remain entirely innocent. Of course I’d pay close attention to who is rushing to make arrangements to meet you. Doesn’t that strike you as a trifle suspicious? Best to scrutinize the list of attendees very carefully. There’s still time to change your plans. Plus I can think of a wonderful refuge spot for you. It’s on the other side of the country. And it is rather nice.

  4. Have a wonderful time Robert and Lady Devotea! I think you are more likely to be assaulted by gaudy aesthetics than anything else but those desert views will be wonderful.

    Happy New Year.

    Kate

  5. I don’t know these guys but I know tea…
    What? This makes a suspect out of me because he was last seen offering strange leaves he called tea to people?

  6. You just gave me a reason to go to Vegas. Now money and time will be the ones stopping me. A hitman might be cheaper.

    At least it is a comfort for the other attendees that it will take only 45 minutes before matters are resolved and they can continue to drink life’s elixir. Unless it is a double episode of course. Then it takes at least a week.

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