DECEMBER 8th, 1970
Dear Father Christmas I am five and my brother is three and if there were any naughty stuffs done it was johns fault and i want some tea and a bike.
Robby
Aged 5
DECEMBER 12, 1971
Dear Father Christmas
Last year you forgot my bike. Can you remember this time? Also thank you for the English Breakfast Tea. They were red. I like red. Can I have some more? I have been very good.
Also can you invent a laser shooting game and give it to me?
Robby
Aged 6
DECEMBER 13th, 1972
Dear Father Christmas
Thank you for the Metric Ruler last year and I really enjoyed the blackcurrant tea. Also the English Breakfast, but the purple bags on the blackcurrant were the best. This year I have been good, no matter what Mrs Marks says about what happened during morning recess that time. And I really think it’s my turn for a bike this year. My friend Paul got his last year and he’s naughtier than me.
Thank you
Robert
Aged 7 and still walking everywhere
DECEMBER 15th, 1974
Dear Father Christmas.
I didn’t write to you last year because my friend Bobby said you didn’t exist. He took me to the the corner shop in Jenkins Avenue and showed me where the little packets of Twinings Tea Bags come from. And he says his Dad owns the bike shop and all the bikes come from there.
But I have decided to give you one last chance.
I will believe in you again when I see a Malvern Star dragster with light and bell under the tree on Christmas Day. Also some China Black Tea – that’s the black ones if you don’t know.
Yours Sincerely
Robert
Aged 9
APRIL 9th, 1976
Dear Father Christmas
So much for you, I got a bike for my birthday.
And I get $1.50 per week pocket money, and the tea bags I like are 75c for 10 so I can buy two or one and a comic or a model plane. And next week, my Aunt is coming and she drinks “Loose Leaf Tea” whatever that is.
So, you won’t be hearing from me again.
Bah Humbug.
Robert
Aged 11
DECEMBER 12th, 2012
Dear Father Christmas
I know a lot has happened since my last letter. Many people call you ‘Santa” here now.
The Laser Shooting game I wanted all those years ago arrived on the market too late for me to enjoy it – if I find your name on the patent for that, I’ll sue- and I haven’t ridden a bike in maybe thirty years. I’ve had children who have believed in you – and then not. Come to think of it, they didn’t always get what they wanted for Christmas. But we did our best.
I’m writing to you after all these years because I want something.
This year, I’ve been on a secret quest.
I remember all those years ago the multi-pack of tea bags one Christmas. Having a Twinings Blackcurrant Tea bag and the wonder of the exotic taste on my palate. Then working through Orange Pekoe and Prince of Wales and my favourites – China Black and Earl Grey.
Over the years, my tastes have evolved and I don’t drink tea bag tea any more.
But I’d like to think that one day a tea bag can be invented that actually tastes good enough to drink. Not for me – I am always happy to put the effort in to make a good cup of tea – but to introduce others to the joy I felt all those years ago. That’s been my quest, and so far, I’ve not been impressed.
Anyway, that’s not your problem, though I mentioned it as you could always leave some samples in my stocking.
Here’s what I want.
Asking for “Peace and Joy and love for all Mankind” at Christmas is a bit over the top – there are some elements that are distinctly unlovable – but it can all start with a nice cup of tea.
I know it’s a late request, but you have so many elves who used to carve wooden toys who are probably just ordering on-line from toy stores, so you have the man-power (or elf-power, I have no wish to offend those little guys).
Get ’em out there, filling canisters and kettles, delivering cups and saucers and mugs and tiny porcelain cups. Milk, sugar, rancid yak butter – whatever people like in their tea.
And then sometime this season; I’d like to see everyone take a break. Relax. Sit down. Pour. Breathe. Sip.
In fact, if you could get the whole world sitting down to tea, you’d be worth believing in again.
The Devotea
Aged 47
Robert, you never cease to make me snort! And you even made me a little teary eyed at the end! Merry Christmas to you and your family and I can’t wait to see what you do with 2013!
Asking Santa for tea bags. 🙂 You have indeed grown.
Brilliant! But I’m a bit worried that you think there may not be a Father Christmas. Who brings my stocking each year then? Answer me that if you can!
I’ll be drinking lots of tea this holiday season. 🙂
Dear Devotea
Despite your fancy name these days you’ll always be Robby up here at the North Pole. I remember how cute you were with your mop of curly red hair and your twinkling eyes. With a smile like yours you would have got that bike 42 years ago – if it hadn’t been for that little word “want.” I want doesn’t get, did nobody ever teach you that?
At age 6 you tried again, but what little cherub demands a lethal laser gun for Christmas? Just for funsies? Laser weapons at 6 means flame throwers at 40, we all know that.
Age 9 you thought “I’ll believe IF” would get you somewhere but no Santa worth his salt has ever delivered by intimidation.
Things got worse at 11 when you said you never wanted to hear from Father Christmas again. Suit yourself then, buddy.
Now 36 years on, you’re still carrying on with “I want.” Only this time you want not for yourself but for others to share some joy. The joy of tea.
I nearly shed a tear. Rudolph’s nose did indeed dribble.
Perhaps you will get your wish this time, I shall see what I can do. In the meantime keep creating your blends to help others see the light and taste good tea.
Yours,
Father Christmas
Dear Father Christmas
Judgemental as always. Always blaming the victim. So it was my fault I didn’t get the bike?
Lend me the sleigh and I’ll go sort the world out myself.
Robert
Dear Robie,
After all these years, I am still amazed that in spite of you not believing in me, you still believe.
As you know rather well, it is not that easy to get the Market (with a big M) do as you want (even for me) but I swear, they are going in the right direction.
Maybe not all of them, maybe not every time but little by little.
Meanwhile, have faith.
Le Père Noël
This was strangely touching. I have weird liquid coming out of my eyes. What is that stuff?!
And for the record, I believed in Santa until I was 11.
Yes, I’m slow.