I come to praise Tea, Sir, not to bury it

I guess my post of a week or so ago (Cafe Quackery) and then the follow-up have now become a trilogy with this one.

So, here’s a bit of storytelling. And pay attention, there’s a question at the end.

We visited Melbourne over three days and did plenty. We shopped, we had a party to go to (which was our excuse for going) and we visited the Melbourne International Flower Show. On Friday, we arrived early morning, so we went in search of brunch. And Tea.

Mrs Devotea suggested Royal Arcade, so when we eventually found it under a pile of scaffolding, we wandered up and down.It wasn’t that busy. There were two shop specialising in “the very best chocolate” and indeed coffee. I went in and checked one out -it was fairly quiet. What did they have? Teabags! No, thanks. Then we found Caffe e Torta. Despite their name, they had loose leaf tea. They were fairly busy, but the service was quick so the fact that their loose leaf Irish Breakfast was a little oversteeped (and a little lacking in quality) was OK – they tried. Not bad for a place called “Coffee and Cake”. Added a tip on Foursquare

I can’t remember what we did the rest of the day. I remember T2 was shut due to a power failure, thwarting my efforts to buy some of their New Zealand Breakfast.

Dinner that night was at our absolute favourite Melbourne restaurant, Nirankar on Queen street. Even kind of sticking to my diet, I was virtually an immovable object by the end, so after I added a tip on Foursquare, both Mrs Devotea and I decided to forgo our cup of tea and go for a walk instead.

That might surprise you – it surprised me -but half an hour’s walking found us at the Oriental Tea House on Little Bourke Street. Even though they were due to shut in just an hour (it was about 9pm) they were absolutely packed. Luckily as we got there a couple left and we grabbed their seat. I ordered a peppermint & Mrs Devotea a jasmine lychee – we ended up swapping. Added a tip on Foursquare.

Next morning we hit the famous Queen Victoria markets. After several hours, we needed tea. I went to a famous merchants called McIvers, but they don’t actually sell it to drink. What they do offer, though, is Melbourne’s rudest person behind the counter, so we moved on. We sat in five different cafés. In each one, the Foursquare tips were indifferent. In each the tea was bagged. In each we elected to move on. The whole process only took a few minutes in each one as they were not all that busy, despite the crowded street.

We decided to cut our losses and take the 15 minute walk to the Hopetoun Tea Rooms. Arriving, we had to line up for 25 minutes to get a table. Tony, the owner, who I have met precisely three times since he bought the place one year ago, greeted us by name and asked how Adelaide was. Good work. I had a Ginger and Peach tea of some sort and Mrs Devotea had a spectacular Colonille – Vietnamese Black tea with Vanilla. We paused for a moment to add our reveiw of the tea – and Mrs Devotea’s lime tart – before continuing.

For the next 18 hours, the only tea we had was tea we made ourselves – a party in a suburban Melbourne pub is not the best location to even try for one.

Sunday morning, we cruised the breakfast precinct. We’d been recommended the Journal Canteen, which is quite famous, but after I checked on Foursquare, it had been slammed for lukewarm coffee and poor service, so we decided against. After eschewing a few places that had a few diners, we arrived at De Greaves. Quite a famous breakfast place  in its own right, seats what feels like a thousand people and was packed. Arrived at the right time, got a seat. Ordered a huge pot of English Breakfast, exemplary service, great food, nice tea thoughtfully presented.

So, here’s the question – what did the places who served loose leaf tea have in common?

The answer is, of course that (a) they also had great service (b) they had overwhelmingly good reviews on Foursquare.

It’s hardly a coincidence. In  Cafe Quackery, I suggested that offering your customers teabags was a sign of laziness; of a lack of pride. It seems to me that it’s one sign, but anywhere that has that sign of laziness, has others. Every place that was packed to the rafters and had great service – also had good loose leaf tea.

Later at lunch, we found ourselves standing between two options. According to Foursquare, someone who had been at the one on the right had found the food poor – five minutes before. So we turned left.

Thus ends our parable.