So, this is Christmas…

This year, my blogging has slowed down a lot, a casualty of other things and other issues.

My next post will tell you about my blogging plans for 2018, and what is changing. But for now, let’s consider Christmas.

Christmas is a stressful time of year, mainly because of gift buying. Instead of just giving great loose leaf tea to everybody, stupid people make stupid decisions to buy stupid gifts.

And in person! When it’s so easy to find a vendor you like online and buy all of your gifts, why go slug it out for a car park at some retail precinct?

I have no kind words to say about toy companies, who persist in making children’s toys that are unrelated to tea. Really? Where’s Gaiwan-Me-Elmo? Where’s Teaimals? Instead of Star Wars Lego Sets, why is there not a faithful reproduction in Lego of the scene from Hitchhiker’s Guide to The Galaxy where Arthur almost dooms them all by using all of the shipboard computer resources to make a really good cup of tea? Or just a simple Star Trek scene where Picard has his cuppa? That’s not too hard.

Video Games? Also a fail.  Sure FIFA 2017 is almost perfect, except for not being able to bribe officials, but where’s the tea break? Why doesn’t the platoon on Call of Duty ever rest and break out the vacuum flask? I nearly bought The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild Yunnan until I realised the last word was inexplicably left off.

I suppose one could grudgingly admit that , say, a new dining setting could be used to have tea on, but how do you explain pointless non tea-related gifts like a new car?

So, I advise you all: Lift your game. You don’t want to make me cross at Christmas. That wouldn’t be fair, would it?

To forestall that, I’m off to gift myself some tea.

When you end up in a violent altercation because you’ve given a watering can or BBQ apron to your cousin who only wanted 65g of White Nights to make Christmas perfect, don’t expect me to bail you out.

Merry Christmas to some of you- those that have done the right thing.  The rest can please themselves.

Robert Godden

Certified Tea Nutter. Blender. Author of "The Infusiast" and Tea "Stories"

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