As I write this, I am sitting in a café with no internet connection and really bad tea.

The café itself is lovely with good food, great ambiance, live jazz at times, decent coffee and some unusual beverages. More on those later.

Excuse me whilst I lick the delicious milk foam from my lips.

So, let’s talk tea.

“100% organic and Australian Made” the sign proudly proclaims before listing the three blends, two flavoureds and three tisanes that make up the range.

By Australian made, I guess they mean blended, and by organic, I guess they mean Certified organically grown, as opposed to simply being organic as all teas are.

I won’t list them except to say they are exactly what you would expect from a place with a range of eight options, except the green is gunpowder not sencha.

And they are all terrible. Well, to be fair, I am extrapolating the terribleness; as I have only had four of them. By the time we add the chamomile automatically, then that’s five terrible teas. Of course the peppermint  is likely to be drinkable, but that’s because it’s virtually impossible to stuff up.


I mean really, why? Why should a good place have terrible tea? I don’t get it, I really don’t. I guess they don’t actually drink tea here themselves.

So, in desperation I order and drink a Choc Mint Melt.

“What?” I hear you ask, and it’s a fair question.

It seems it is a peppermint tea bag, brewed in a little boiling water, then removed. Hot Non-Homogenised Whole Milk  is added, as are some chocolate buds which melt right on schedule.

And it is delicious.


I am in Lady Devotea’s study, drinking the second attempt I have made with excellent pure peppermint, dark cooking chocolate and milk.

I nearly have it. I will get it soon.

The alchemists had it wrong; never mind messing about with lead, you can turn mint, milk and chocolate into gold.

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Robert Godden

Certified Tea Nutter. Blender. Author of "The Infusiast" and Tea "Stories"
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  1. Profile photo of Xavier Xavier says:

    Tea bag and you? Are you out of your mind? Or do miracles happen in Australia?

    And for alchemy, I am sure you will find out how to deal with gold later.

  2. Mint and chocolate are a dream combo. Make a video of your progress…otherwise it didn’t happen. *heh*

  3. Lovely article. I do hope you find out why they serve bad tea. I know that in America it is because even some very good restaurants have no idea how to steep tea.

    About your alchemy, I have also tried to reproduce drinks. I have Cafe Borgia just about down with coffee, but I am trying to make an equivalent beverage with tea.

    Have fun trying. Hope you succeed.

  4. Profile photo of Fay Fay says:

    Even though I know your own tea blends to make worthy of the title alchemist, I just can’t believe this story. Mint and chocolate – yes. Prepared in that way? No. Just give me a mug of cocoa before bedtime please…

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